They really don't. Here's a bunch of A/B test results:

http://exisweb.net/menu-eats-hamburger and followup http://exisweb.net/mobile-menu-abtest

http://conversionxl.com/testing-hamburger-icon-revenue/

http://thenextweb.com/dd/2014/04/08/ux-designers-side-drawer...

http://www.adammcfarland.com/2013/10/24/responsive-mobile-ui...

Anecdotally, I don't use a ton of mobile social apps, and the first time I encountered this icon I thought it was some weird play on an equals sign. Never occurred to me it was a menu. Now my own dev team is using it and for some bizarre reason I cannot convince them to stop.

Did you actually read the article? The author had some sensible justifications for his argument.

Please rebut those, instead of name-calling.