I don't listen to much electronic music. Compared to real instruments, which usually have a lot of softening qualities, the high part of the spectrum (the calabash?) sounds extremely harsh and trebly, to the point of painful.

That's a modern trend, due to the loudness-war arms race: brightness in that 2-5k area is perceived as loudness and clarity. Also it helps things pop through on the tiny speakers in laptops and mobile devices. Some speakers and headphones have their own bump in this region to increase perceived clarity and sparkle, so things can get very harsh and brittle very quickly.

"EDM" is particularly guilty of this.

EDIT: also this may be bothering you excessively if you're listening on a system lacking in sub bass: in electronic music, the crack of the snare is often set to balance the (often enormous) boom of the kick, so if you're not hearing the bottom of the kick the snare might stick out way too much.