I currently have a 2hr+ commute, one way (so 4hr+ a day) and surprisingly it's not a problem for me.
Key is that you have to embrace the commute and not fight it. But some important factors make it possible for me:
-it's by train, and the bulk of that (1hr 25) is a single train leg. It's far enough out that I'm guaranteed a seat every trip, and it's only really the final two stops where things fill up. Really it feels like my commute is the bit after that train.
- that train journey is great: it's quality 'me time'. I can do some work, I can surf the web, I can play some games. Previously, on a 30 min commute, I'd get home and need unwind time on the sofa doing the same - no longer necessary now
-home is properly amazing and a real escape. I live 2 mins walk from the sea and it's the opposite of London. Ie the destination feels worth it
-many others in my office have similar or worse commutes (2.5 hrs is common, and the CEO has this length), so culturally no-one bats an eyelid at leaving the office whenever
- I always leave the office at 5:20 to catch my train, and if I need to work I just do that on the train. So I'm never back particularly late
-when things are busy that extra quiet time on the train in each direction is a god-send and can be super productive
- I can walk to the station so no additional leg in the car, and hence no buffer needed for traffic etc. It basically feels like I'm still at a tube station just one further away
- I work from home 1 or 2 days a week
A few years ago I would have strongly said I'd never live a long commute away and always want a <30 min commute. I was wrong. With the right ingredients not just doable but weirdly enjoyable
In the same boat as you.. 2+hours, but about 1.5 of it is usually on a bus so it's bearable. That's my alone time. Phone goes to Do Not Disturb mode, put on some music, and relax. I thought I'd hate the commute but your comment is spot on: "With the right ingredients not just doable but weirdly enjoyable" Every once in a while I will drive the whole way and it's really not so bad. It sucks not seeing my kid during the week though.
My home is not amazing, it's pretty bog standard, but then again it didn't cost me $1M+ so that's amazing. Home prices entirely drive this. When we were looking for a place to live, we basically plotted on a map "places we can afford" and picked the place the shortest distance from my work.
I did a ~1hr 45min commute at one point, with an hour of that on a commuter train, the rest on an uncrowded subway + walking, and I also didn't have a problem with it. The train was calm, I had plenty of room, and as you mentioned, it was "me" time. I could do whatever I wanted- read, listen to music, play on my laptop, work on my laptop, whatever.
The train was also a nice forcing function to get up and leave as well and get in a routine that you stick to. I actually also kind of miss commuting on the train- I read so many books, many technical and textbooks too- there weren't a whole lot of distractions, so you could really dive in.
I have slightly less of a commute (still 50 minutes on a train), and I find it almost the same as you.
If I am prepared for the commute it is no problem. Having a fully charged phone (or a charger), laptop/tablet with books, tv shows and movies and a portable gaming device, makes the time fly by! And all are things I would do at home (well I probably wouldn't read as much). I do wish I could make a few more dinners though
My guess is that I could still make work. But as mentioned I don't get home horribly late - 7:40 or so, so similar to those with a normal commute and a longer office day. And I work from home a day or two. So on balance I think it's workable even with children. I think I'd even appreciate the 'me time' more :) and the quality of life difference for them being by the sea and not in London would feel more valuable I think
If I had to work a longer office day or no working from home then of course that would be a very different picture.
Key is that you have to embrace the commute and not fight it. But some important factors make it possible for me:
-it's by train, and the bulk of that (1hr 25) is a single train leg. It's far enough out that I'm guaranteed a seat every trip, and it's only really the final two stops where things fill up. Really it feels like my commute is the bit after that train.
- that train journey is great: it's quality 'me time'. I can do some work, I can surf the web, I can play some games. Previously, on a 30 min commute, I'd get home and need unwind time on the sofa doing the same - no longer necessary now
-home is properly amazing and a real escape. I live 2 mins walk from the sea and it's the opposite of London. Ie the destination feels worth it
-many others in my office have similar or worse commutes (2.5 hrs is common, and the CEO has this length), so culturally no-one bats an eyelid at leaving the office whenever
- I always leave the office at 5:20 to catch my train, and if I need to work I just do that on the train. So I'm never back particularly late
-when things are busy that extra quiet time on the train in each direction is a god-send and can be super productive
- I can walk to the station so no additional leg in the car, and hence no buffer needed for traffic etc. It basically feels like I'm still at a tube station just one further away
- I work from home 1 or 2 days a week
A few years ago I would have strongly said I'd never live a long commute away and always want a <30 min commute. I was wrong. With the right ingredients not just doable but weirdly enjoyable