Whenever you compose an email, put your ask in the first sentence. Do you want information from them? Do you want them to do something for you? Put it in the first sentence. Then put the explanation and details in the rest of the email.
One of the depressing things I notice as I get older is that no-one reads anything. If it's not in the first sentence (or, for some people, last sentence) it is ignored. So I write 1 line emails. It's on HN too ofcourse; people respond to the first sentence without reading the rest, missing every and all nuance. Great stuff.
Yup, that's the downside of modern day internet culture; even as a software developer, my main and most used skills are reading and writing. And with reading, since there's so much of it people end up skim reading / skipping.
Once upon a time I was on an internet forum and I would read each and every post. Nowadays, if it's longer than a paragraph long and not by someone I care about, I just glaze over - I can't be bothered anymore. Mind you, having less time for that kinda thing also doesn't help.
Also, at least if you're writing it to me, don't write several rambling pages where you also disparage other people in the project and then ask me at the very end of the email to not share it with the group.
Put that don't share request at the top in caps, bold.
I’ve followed this format ever since I read about BLUF [0], and I’ve found it to be highly effective.
I don’t use the same subject keywords the article describes, but I try to keep it concise. I put the point of the email first, a bit of background, and further explanation below that if required. I don’t think anybody really appreciates the beating around the bush and story telling that goes into a lot of corporate emails.
Miltary parlance does not always translate well to civilian. His first example email
~~~
Shannon,
Bottom Line: We will reduce the number of days that employees can work from home from three to one day per week effective December 1st.
Background:
* This is an effort to encourage team morale and foster team collaboration
* All members of the management committee supported this decision
~~~~
A lot of people would take that for what it is, orders and not like it at all. In the military diplomacy is not so strongly needed as there is a clear chain of command. Things are not so set in the corporate world.
Yes, this seems like it’ll cause resentment and arguing unless Shannon is already bought in. She reads the first line and maybe thinks “but why? I don’t like it!”. She only gets to the reasoning after she’s set against the decision and looking for reasons to disagree. The other way round, she reads about increasing team morale and thinks “oh, good, I agree”, then is more likely to agree with the decision.
If the boss can tell Shannon to deal with it like in the army, no problem. But in an office Shannon has lots of coworkers and bosses to formally complain to! Giving bottom lines which are in any way controversial in this manner will probably backfire imo.
" In order to encourage team morale and foster team collaboration, the management committee have decided to reduce the number of days that employees can work from home from three to one day per week effective December 1st."
I’m exclusively talking about the suggested structure. The tone of the communication is up you. That said, if you have instructions to give somebody, it’s probably best to make sure there isn’t any ambiguity about it.
Even if you are emailing an old friend for a favor, put your request up front then put the cordial stuff after, its much more sincere that way.
> Joe, we are looking for advisors to sit on our board. This is a non-paying position so I'm emailing all my old friends and asking for favors. Hey, how are you? How is your wife and son? Either way lets get together soon! --Aaron
"hey, how are you" in he middle of an email after a request is very strange. Asking for something and finishing with the non committal "let's get together soon" is also a red flag that you might want something from me from a business perspective but are only feigning interesting from a personal perspective.
I disagree with this but it may just be a style thing. Reading "Hey, how are you?" in the middle of the content put me on guard, I feel like I might be being manipulated somehow.
This sounds very transactional, the personal concern seems to be an aftertoghth.
I was struggling with this dilemma recently, when wrting an email. Knowing what you just said, that your request should be in the first paragraph, and at the same time wanting to show humman connection, I don't think that I did very good job. Still haven't found a smooth way to express both things in the first sentance/paragraph.
I guess, it depends on the person you are writing to.
I really rail against people who think 'This.' is a sentence, let alone a useful contribution.
It's especially galling when the topic is 'Put your question / point in the first sentence / paragraph' and someone's first word, sentence, and paragraph is simply 'This.'
