> I get it that when you say “how are you” in America, people are usually not asking how you are actually doing.
That’s not quite right, it usually is really asking that question, however, the space of acceptable responses (both in range of acceptable tones and maximum level of detail) varies widely based on context and relationship with the questioner. You are usually safe treating it as if it were an empty ritual to which the correct response is “fine, and you?” (unless it is already being echoed back to you), but that's not quite what it is in most situations.
That’s not quite right, it usually is really asking that question, however, the space of acceptable responses (both in range of acceptable tones and maximum level of detail) varies widely based on context and relationship with the questioner. You are usually safe treating it as if it were an empty ritual to which the correct response is “fine, and you?” (unless it is already being echoed back to you), but that's not quite what it is in most situations.