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Microsoft Coffee (microsoftcoffee.org)
1558 points by todsacerdoti on April 2, 2021 | hide | past | favorite | 371 comments


Oh wow... you have just given me some sense of comfort after feeling like a moron for over two decades.

When I was growing up, my dad had visited Seattle and came back from the trip with a box of Microsoft Coffee. He claimed to have gotten it from a store called Egg-Head’s Software or Egghead Computing or something like that. (EDIT: Upon reading the full article it seems to have been Egghead Software.)

I took it to my computer club and was laughed out of the room for it being fake. I believe he still has it somewhere, in storage...

Needless to say, I have some friends to email given that I’ve been the victim of “my uncle works at Nintendo” style teasing about this for years.


Why on earth would you be laughed out of the room for this. Sounds like your friends were a piece of work.


It was the day of “my cousin told me if you did this combo you could get Ermac in Mortal Kombat!”

I.E. we were dumb kids who would make things up to impress our friends. They weren’t trying to be mean, they were just incredulous.


I don't know if you're old enough to have played (or heard of) "Adventure" on the Atari 2600. In 8th grade (this would have been around 1980 for me?) one kid (Tom Koester, yes Tom I'm calling you out) told me about some purple dragon that could be unlocked if moved the sword to one specific pixel location on the screen. I burned many weekends trying to unlock that before I decided he'd taken me for a ride. He wasn't known for that kind of prank so I bought it fully.


Everything in your story lines up with that article. It's probably worth a fair bit now if he can find it.


Yeah it’s pretty rare probably!


The last laugh


My dad too! From EGHead in Seattle.

One morning we were going to brew it but it was whole grain and we didn't have a grinder.

My dad was a fool for believing a random cashier's word that it was instant coffee!


Is there any reason to believe that this actually happened? Conveniently, it was published on April 1st. The story itself would be a great April Fools' prank. :)


The news footage is pretty convincing


I just called KOMO. They confirmed they covered it, the footage is real, and it happened. In fact, the archives tech I talked to remembered it.


How do we know the above comment isn't an April Fool's joke?


Easy: my mother drilled it into me for years that a prank played after 12 noon on April 1st made you the fool, I've abided by that rule of the game for 35 years, I'm not about to start breaking it now.


Does the reporter still have the copy?


I didn't ask. I just explained I was following up on some footage of a news report by them that I suspected might be computer generated, and I wanted to verify the legitimacy of the video and event.


But can you believe them on April 1st?


Well, you can't believe them even if it's not. People tend to remember things that never happened.

Other than that, GP may have just been teasing. I mean what's the probability that you call them and they still have the same people there after 25 years? You call them and one of those rare guys (who's still there after 25 years) answers the phone. Or whoever answers the phone is willing to take the time to find someone who has been there since then. Seems unlikely.


I wasn't teasing, I actually called them. I was curious if it was a deepfake ML video so I wanted to find out. I got passed around quite a bit till I spoke with a guy in news room archives who had been there "a long time and would know", that's why I specifically got passed to him I believe.


Sure, but you could be lying or they could be lying.


You could append this to any statement though.


Let's never believe anything at all.


Cool! Thanks for the additional details.


I as well thought you were just joking but that’s great!


> People tend to remember things that never happened.

While I don't intend/want to derail the focus here, this happens to make for an excellent coincidental articulation of one of the key things conspiracy theorists seem to not be able to comprehend in their mental models of the world.


Dude, it's (at least) April 2nd all around the globe right now...


It ought to be possible to find another clip of the same anchors in the 90s, which would settle the issue. I spent a few minutes on Youtube and found a lot of KOMO news clips from 1995 but none with those anchors. I still think it's authentic because it would be so hard to fake. If anyone really cared they could probably get someone at the TV station, which still exists (https://komonews.com/), to confirm that the clip is real.


whatthesmack confirmed the man was Keith Eldridge

It's unlikely that 'someone at the station' could confirm that clip was real, getting archive footage from that time would be difficult. I worked on various shows in the 00s, there's no way I'd remember any packages we broadcast, and there's no easy access to archives before 2008. We've been digitising decades of cut news packages in foreign bureaus for years, but I don't believe actual as-broadcast stuff on tape has been systematically kept, and we didn't have it digitised - at least long term - until about 10 years later.


Lifelong Seattle resident here. Yea, that's Keith Eldridge and everything there looks perfectly accurate to 1996 KOMO. Here's a 5yr old video of Keith for age comparison. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXIc5SQxG3o


Well, that was a lovely video in itself. Thanks for sharing.


I'm assuming Seattlites would be able to confirm.

However as much discussion we've had about the internet remembering everything, I can't find anything in Google to confirm "Microsoft Coffee" except for this site, discussion of it on Reddit 13 hours ago.


Google's index isn't as vast as they claim. Their "About 5,780,000,000 results" is a gross exaggeration. You can't actually view all those results even if you tried.


Most engines are also very aggressive at de-prioritizing abandoned sites, so most of the content from 90s essentially gone dark - it's indexed but cannot be found unless you know exactly what to look for.


Either way, it is funny that they claim to have millions of results, yet you can't go past Page 11.


At least it does go to eleven. Most amps only go to ten.

I hope that if you're being serious about 11 being the max, that it was a deliberate reference.


Touche! :)


That's not true. You just have to click the "with the omited results included" at the bottom of page 11, and that gives you many more pages.


Oh, I didn't mean you get 11 pages for every single query. I do know about the omitted results (but thanks for pointing it out, as its not obvious to many!), I used 11 as a placeholder since the final page # varies by query. Like, I get ~50 pages for 'icecream' out of the supposed 8 million or so. Crazy!

AFAIK there is no way to view all of those millions of results that they claim to have.


abandoned or done?


Egghead Software, which I visited a lot at the time because my parents' office was right around the corner, was at I think 4th and University, or somewhere around there. KOMO and the other stations are adjacent to downtown so it would be easy for them to come snag the box before MS PR descended.

Honestly this prank makes more sense to me as a forgotten thing than as a modern meta-prank. I would not be surprised if Bill or some other prime mover from that era hears about it and confirms at some point.


There's a bunch of real MS promotional merch that doesn't show up in search engines.

In the 1990s they released "drag 'n' drops" - a gummy candy in the shape of dragons. I can't find any mention of them.


To get trademark protection in a particular class (e.g. candy belongs to class 30, "staple foods"), you have to demonstrate you are using the trademark in commerce.

Stuff like this seems whimsical, but it serves the very serious purpose of allowing Microsoft to claim exclusive use of their name in that class.


Remember that the prank preceded the mainstream web, and MS PR clearly went to great lengths to cover it up. I don't think the internet was "remembering everything" yet at that point


Usenet would have, there would be mentions on a pro or anti (mainly anti) microsoft group about it. It was 1996, not the stone age

Google has lost a lot of old posts from those days, but I'd be surprised if it would have lost all of them.


Google's public index is just the short head, maybe even less than 5% of the internet by pages. Old stuff is more or less all pushed out unless its popular.


April 1996 was a long time ago, almost the dawn of the Internet as it relates to Microsoft.

Internet Explorer only launched in 1995, and the anti-Linux Halloween Documents were 1998.


I can't find anything in Google to confirm "Microsoft Coffee" except for this site, discussion of it on Reddit 13 hours ago.

Its choice not to display any information older than the attention span of a cracked out chipmunk is one of the main reasons I stopped using Google.


Real question: do you use any alternatives? I completely agree but have had a hard time finding other methods of searching information.


you don't do google justice. They are fully capable of displaying very outdated information. As an example, i recently wanted to look up election results from a certain country, a day after. Google decided to show me some tired, old news snippets from elections in 2015.

"stale as buns" is my phrase of choice.


Try finding something from Google before 2007.


"google in 1996"? Google likes the buns but not the whisky i guess.

(even i'm cringing at the metaphor, but if you think about it, it sums up what i'm trying to say. Pretty well)


> I'm assuming Seattlites would be able to confirm.

Perhaps, however remember the Mandela Effect. I'd expect ong time KOMO viewers and staff to recognise the presenters, and I'm sure they were the right ones. I wouldn't trust their recollection of this story though, especially once they had seen the video - after all the camera never lies.

Remember news anchors read dozens of these stories a day, to recall one specific prank 25 years later isn't likely. Unlikely KOMO still have recordings of their output from back then.


I still remember the prank from the late 1980s when KING ran a story that the Space Needle fell over.

KING ran retractions for days, and did their best to bury the footage.

I saw it when KING ran it, and had a good laugh. It was an obvious prank (the video looked like a bad cut & paste job, and the reporters were local comedians from "Almost Live"), but too bad a handful of humorless people ruined it.

I ran into Bill Nye some years later and asked him about it, and he replied they got into a lot of trouble for it.



I miss Almost Live. When KING would run reruns of it, they never did that one. Anyhow, they stopped all AL reruns a year or two ago. Sad.


this has more details of what happened on that April's fools day https://www.seattlemet.com/arts-and-culture/2013/05/an-oral-...


Since about 10 years ago, Seattle started taking itself too seriously. It desperately needs a local humor show to add some balance, and what goes on is ripe for parody.

Almost Live was always making fun of Boeing, Microsoft, cops, local sports fans, anyone who lived in Kent, gangs, local hair metal bands, etc. All in good fun.

(They even got the hair metal band members to come on the show and parody themselves.)


I can't find anything to confirm the actual release advertisement of Turbo Pascal, either. There were later articles and those about later versions, but I guess Turbo Pascal never had a release advertisement. It's not indexed by Google.


Here you go. Third result for me, searching for "ad for turbo pascal in byte magazine" (which is where I first remember seeing it): http://tech-insider.org/personal-computers/research/acrobat/...


If they faked that footage and even went as far faking the messed up VHS tracking, I will be very very impressed.


The VHS tracking is what makes me suspicious (and of course the date, the lack of any mention of it at all)

If you've waited for 25 years to announce something, you're going to get video captured correctly.

> There’s the KOMO News footage, which some of us still have on a dusty VHS tape

Does anyone from Seatle recognise the two KOMO reporters?

If the footage is a deep fake over real footage from that time, I'm very very impressed. I suspect that the audio is fake, sort of matches up with the real recording, and the box is digitally replaced.


Former Seattleite... those are (were?) legit KOMO news anchors. I believe the person on the left's name is Keith Eldridge. I don't remember the name of the person on the right, but I do recognize them.


Good call, this definitely looks like the same guy: https://komonews.com/station/people/keith-eldridge


Has anyone contacted him and made him an offer on that box of Microsoft Coffee? He was right, it would be worth a lot now!


The real question should be, who is the news anchor woman that he gave it to at the end? Did she end up taking it home?


I reached out to him and KOMO on Twitter, no harm in trying. Would be handy to find these reported references in tech magazines and radio programs.


> I don't remember the name of the person on the right

Probably Kathi Goertzen?


https://weatherchannel.fandom.com/wiki/KOMO-TV#Previous_Pers...

From here, I looked up pictures of anchors who worked in that time period, and I see Eric Slocum (now deceased) and Margo Myers who did evening news together in that time frame, and look quite similar to the people in the video.

EDIT: someone else identified Keith Eldridge, who definitely looks like a match for the video.

https://komonews.com/station/people/keith-eldridge


> If you've waited for 25 years to announce something, you're going to get video captured correctly.

I mean this assumes said perfect video exists. I don't think most people would go to extreme lengths to preserve a video tape of a prank they performed 25 years ago.


> If you've waited for 25 years to announce something, you're going to get video captured correctly.

The video maight have been digitized years ago not yesterday.


What's also suspicious is there is a lot you can find online about the 1994 Vatican City hoax that they allude to, but nothing about Microsoft Coffee.

I think a really good prank using deep fake tech.


I dunno, I don't think I would care about getting a perfect capture of a VHS tape from a silly project 25 years ago. The VHS artifacts add character to the memory.


>If you've waited for 25 years to announce something, you're going to get video captured correctly.

maybe the tape degraded?


The VHS tracking is an easy trick to cover up faked footage, because it hides any details that might give away the fact that the footage is faked.


Yeah - I feel as if the task of building a fake news desk, hiring two (very convincing) actors to pose as anchors, filming it, and chopping it up in Premiere to give it the VHS look is way more effort than someone would put into a prank like this.


> the VHS look

the rolling part of the tape is a little too much imo and a lot of programs have filters that add the grainy nature so it's not impossible. that and seeing as you can hire random celebs for 100 bucks nowadays to shout out at your friend it's not unimaginable that they faked this. it's probably true but also... who knows


You'd also have to duplicate 90's hairstyles and clothing, which isn't that easy.


I note that the thing "period" movies usually get wrong is the hairstyle, as the actors are reluctant to adopt the historical hairstyles. Even Star Trek TOS is plagued by 1960s hairstyles.


I don't know... The footage for some reason is in the form of a mobile phone recording of the playback of the actual footage. Now you could say that the creator of the page didn't have the original video just found it on youtube, but it's not the case. They were the one to upload it. (And now I see that they also have a photo of the VHS cassette on the site.)

Also, the recording itself is in a pretty bad shape, trying to sell you that it's a very old VHS tape that has been played a huge number of times.


I'm open to accepting it as authentic, even with those reasons. VHS to Digital Converters are some a common household item, and when I bought one for old family videos, they still can act up. The distortion can come from age and improper storage, not just overuse. Secondly, some of our old family photos from before digital cameras were made digital simply through scanning 4 of them together.

My point being, this could be one of those instances where a prank happened before April Fools became a corporate marketing tool. It wasn't hidden away out of fear, but just sort of "because" that was how the internet worked back then. Not everything was digitized and made available for eternity then.


I'm sure there's an AfterEffects plugin that does that! ;)


It's quite flickery. I don't remember TV/video being that bad in 96.


Presumably it was the tape that degraded over the decades (perhaps stuffed in a box, moved from house to house, thought of as junk until they had the idea to post it on the internet)


I recall bad video as more like this - lines on the pic https://youtu.be/BIVEitYSEQ8?t=312

The vertical hold going as in the featured article was more of a 60s/70s thing in my memory.


I said this upstream, but I have clear memories of borrowing tapes of stuff people had recorded off their tv in the 90s and having exactly these kinds of glitches. I think we're seeing the difference between a professionally recorded vhs and a home system that someone just learned how to use.


Analog covered up how bad it was. IIRC VHS resolution was 320x240.


Analog didn't have an "XxY" resolution. VHS was about 3MHz of luma resolution and 400Khz of chroma, which was 240 lines - but that was interlaced, so your actual vertical resolution was 480 lines per interlaced frame (30 per second at US rates) -- but your Y (luma) signal would change far more often than your Pb and Pr signals (which gave the color by recording how far off the Y signal Blue and Red were)


You have lines and also an aspect ratio, which is 4:3.


NTSC has a nominal resolution of 720x480i (240 lines per field, 60 fields per second). VHS on its best days could get about half the horizontal resolution for luma, and even less for color, but often ended up a bit worse, so 320x480i is probably a good approximation for the resolution (ignoring the fact that color is even lower resolution).

[edit]

On a slightly different note, the HiFi audio track (supported for playback by pretty much all VCRs by the late 80s; not sure if/when HiFi recording became normal) of VHS was undoubtably the highest quality consumer analog audio product to get wide usage, with an SNR and dynamic range slightly better than the very best cassette decks.


Maybe, but as I remember it, VHS looked much better than analog TV from the same time. I remember being marveled by how clear it looked in comparison (mostly because it did not have as much noise as analog TV did even with a good antenna).


My family didn't really mess with VHS recording growing up, but I do remember getting shitty tapes from friends' families who had recorded stuff off tv and seeing glitches like this. Could just be the vhs player/recorders didn't work as well as professional ones?


The video is flicker-y, but the audio is perfect.


No way. The VHS tracking effect is exaggerated and appears to be an attempt to hide artifacts of faked footage.


There's a screenshot of pcweek.com page but unfortunately (or very conveniently) the earliest the internet archive goes for that domain is May of 1996, missed it by just one month!

The full link in the screenshot is this and it still works! http://www.pcweek.com/spencer/spencer.html

update: adding wayback link: https://web.archive.org/web/19960512211429/http://www.pcweek...

update 2: From the main link: "There are a handful of print articles from tech magazines at the time"

Turns out that the Internet Archive has a ton of computer magazines scanned in and there's a lot from 1996 so now I'm going down a rabbit hole both searching for any mention of this and also nostalgia: https://archive.org/details/computermagazines?sort=-date&and...


I thought PCWeek was totally forgotten. I can't find any issues from the 1980s, wish I'd kept the ones there was an article about myself in :-)


I'd expect to see something in usenet archives, or at least some mention of it somewhere before this year, even if it's to someone complaining about the lack of evidence of it happening. Couldn't find anything.

The fact I've spent some time actually looking this up though makes this the best prank of the last few years. The video especially is a masterpiece of fakery.


Looks like the wayback machine's closest capture of the PC Week page that was screenshotted in the article is from December 96. The design is different, but there's an 8 month gap. https://web.archive.org/web/19961222040420/http://www.pcweek...


I can't tell if this is related or not, seems in the same spirit but not directly related to the prank ... https://groups.google.com/g/comp.os.ms-windows.advocacy/c/7J...

Like, maybe this inspired the prank somehow?


Someone ought to ask Bill Gates next time he does an AMA on reddit


YES!


This line gives it added credibility, imo: "In the end, it was all a huge overreaction by PR."


SSL cert is very suspicious. It is by Google Trust Services LLC valid starting on Thu, 01 Apr 2021 02:07:46 GMT. Video was uploaded to YouTube on April first.

I would go with a fun joke.


>SSL cert is very suspicious. It is by Google Trust Services LLC

There's nothing suspicious about that CA. If you do a search[1] you can see plenty certificates issued for benign sites. My guess is that's the CA for google related products? eg. GCP, app engine, or google site builder.

[1] https://crt.sh/?Identity=%25&iCAID=180754


Yep! but the dates are suspicious. There is no record of this happening anywhere before April 1st.

Youtube, SSL, domain, everything. April first. Also, humorously hosted on google.


What's so suspicious about celebrating the 25th anniversary of a prank by publishing it, but preferring anonymity because people on the Internet are terrible nowadays?


I believe GTS certs are Google (employee) only, correct? The hostname also goes to 1e100.net.

  host `dig www.microsoftcoffee.org +short | tail -1`
  51.165.217.172.in-addr.arpa domain name pointer pnatla-aa-in-f19.1e100.net.


>I believe GTS certs are Google (employee) only, correct?

Doesn't seem like it

https://crt.sh/?Identity=%25&iCAID=180754


Ah ok, I thought Letsencrypt was the only available auto-issuing CA on Google Cloud but that must have changed with GKE. The 1e100 address is probably pointed at a gke load balancer then.


Why GKE? It's probably just a static site hosted on Google Sites or something...


It is hosted on google sites. The little (I) pop up in the bottom corner gives it away.


IIRC, Google sites doesn't actually have static sites.


the webpage is hosted on Google Sites


That would be a better Aprils joke than the one being claimed


I disagree wholeheartedly. I'm pretty tired of fictional April Fool's joke. If you've got a good idea for a (harmless) prank, DO IT. Don't write up some lame webpage to make people think you did it.


> Don't write up some lame webpage to make people think you did it.

But are we sure this is just some lame webpage? If the prank is to gaslight the internet into believing the Microsoft Coffee prank took place wouldn't the news segment covering the prank also be fake? I have no idea if that was the anchor for that TV station in the 90s. That would be way more entertaining to me than some press release or fake product page.


Kind of related to the last few seconds of the news clip - Feb 14 1996 "Zoo Gorilla Gives Birth In Seattle" - I imagine visitation for the new baby would come around a month and a half after birth. https://www.spokesman.com/stories/1996/feb/14/zoo-gorilla-gi...


Had to remove the /1, but good find. That does seem to put the right timeframe -- and with confirmation they're real presenters too. It's not a matter of finding a c. 25 year old clip from the news to base a fake on, it would be finding one from about March-May 1996 (which itself would be amazing to have for no reason), and then replace it.

I'm leaning more to "this is real", but it's astounding there's no reference to it before yesterday.


> I'm leaning more to "this is real", but it's astounding there's no reference to it before yesterday.

Why? It wasn't nationwide, it was local. They said a few hundred boxes on shelves for less than 24hrs.

The only people to know would be people seeing two 60 sec local news clips. Info didn't spread the same back then as it does now.

Again, not proof that it happened, but also not a shock that if it happened there aren't records of it.


I'd expect something like this to have been mentioned in the seattle linux user group, and from there into gorups like comp.os.linux.advocacy


> Had to remove the /1

Thanks, fixed.


As someone else pointed out, this isn't just a lame webpage. The YT video of the news broadcast, if it was faked, would have been much more involved.


It's true that going to the trouble of costumes and video editing is at least some effort. However yesterday had more than its fair share of very low effort Photoshops and year after year, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

To the original question, the alleged original prank still outweighs any contemporary green screen antics: producing multiple physical fake boxes, distributing them across town in multiple stores, and getting local news to pick up on it. That's a lot of work.


The effort/motivation ratio makes far more sense for the 1996 prank than for the 2021 one. The 1996 one works out: a group of co-workers, at a company with a divisive reputation but desperately longing for being considered cool, a year after the Windows 95 release campaign made shrink-wrapped cardboard boxes the centerpiece of attention. And 1996: from Microsoft Word Art to pirated copies of Quark Express, losing themselves to print preparation screen time was just something people did, in the 90ies.

The hypothetical 2021 prank? Why Microsoft? Why Java? Why the completely forgotten medium of cardboard boxes?


Getting your goat is part of the prank.


I can't find any mention of it on contemporary Usenet via Google Groups search, and you'd think someone would have mentioned it in comp.os.linux.advocacy if nowhere else...


Good point, an article on a news site should be required.

Simulacrum, simulacra, ...


For what it's worth, I searched The Seattle Times, the Seattle PI, and "Washington Newspapers" through the Seattle Public Library online portal and didn't find anything.

There were articles recounting April fools day pranks, but none mention Microsoft Coffee which is weird to me considering that it was covered on a local station.


Have meta jokes gone too far?


We know Satya Nadella has a Hacker News team to speak positively about Micro$oft and defend it here. The real Conspiracy question is if they've been 'activated' to help cover up this story by trying to claim it itself is a hoax.


You broke the HN guidelines badly with this. Please read https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and stick to the rules.

As they explain, if you have evidence of abuse on HN, you should be emailing hn@ycombinator.com so we can investigate. But other commenters having different $BigCo tastes from you doesn't count as evidence.


Fantastic story. I joined Microsoft in 1997 but unfortunately I cannot confirm the story, I never heard this story before, but it doesn't surprise me, we had a lot of fun back then with all kinds of pranks, and Easter eggs, until one day it was all suddenly stopped, ship an Easter egg and get fired was what they told us. That was a very sad day. I can confirm that Microsoft was doing things with Java back then, I worked in an XML parser written in Java when I first joined Microsoft.


It was a different time then. For example sql server 6.5 (An 'enterprise' level piece of software) had an easter egg in it: https://www.itprotoday.com/sql-server/are-there-any-easter-e...

All of those quirks and inside jokes were forcibly removed to assure customers and government agencies there were no 'hidden' code or features in a product - just the released, documented, and tested pieces of the product.


Excel 97 3D Flight-simulator easter egg[0] was amazing. Also, Word 97 had a pinball easter egg.

Released November 19, 1996. 7 months after Microsoft Coffee.

[0] https://eeggs.com/items/718.html



When I lived in Japan 25 years ago, two major events happened: the Hanshin earthquake and the Sarin gas attacks. It was an interesting time to learn Japanese by reading the newspapers. I had real, fully contextual practice learning words like kidnapping.

But I was still oblivious to what that gas attack meant, and what terrorism would mean to people in a few years after 9/11.

After the gas attacks happened, the other exchange students that all lived in the new foreigners dormitory (deep in the mountains outside of Kanazawa) planned a party. We put up flyers with a bear dancing with Asahara Shokou, the blind prophet of the cult. He was the Japanese equivalent of Osama bin Laden. The caption read "ore mo ikitai kedo naa!" ("Damn, I wish I could go too!") We thought it was really funny, since he had been arrested by that point.

The school administrators dragged us in, saying that "black humor, well..." We immediately took down all the flyers.

Sounds like the Microsoft PR people had the same reaction.


I honestly can't imagine that kind of humor being taken any other way by Japanese bureaucrats.

After years of direct, negative experience, I still routinely step in it with my "American humor", and then feel like an ass afterwards. Scarcasm goes over like a lead balloon.


sarcasm and dark humor. I made a joke to a class of ESL students in Tokyo that was something about killing your friend (haha) and the humor did not transcend the language or cultural barriers at. all.


Did you study at JAIST? Sorry to ask, but when you said "deep in the mountains outside of Kanazawa", that's the only university that popped up in my mind that was more open to foreigners(which I assume you are/were).


It was Kindai (Kanazawa Daigaku). They moved from the castle inside Kanazawa to a new campus outside the city. It might be a stretch to say deep in the mountains, it was probably a 20 minute bus ride from downtown Kanazawa. I haven't been there in 25 years and I imagine it has all changed significantly.


It is a frequent reaction: Put people in charge of two things they can't control (people's speech and public's reaction) and they tend to become control freaks on the small things they actually have a hang on.


> unlike other pranks our prank didn’t just say ‘Microsoft is successful but nerdy’. Instead, it fed the idea that Microsoft kind of sucked as a company in some way; a lazy copycat.

> [...] Usually Microsoft was happy to take credit for clever pranks from employees, because it showed we played hard besides working hard.

> [...] BillG said, in effect, that the prank was not in good taste, and that it made Microsoft look stupid rather than clever - especially as a catch-up to Sun Microsystems. We learned he was repeatedly calling the prank “in poor judgement” in meeting and internal memos.

I'm kind of flabbergasted that the authors, Microsoft employees it seems, were surprised that their prank wasn't perceived well, and lay the blame squarely on "PR flacks."

(Or maybe I'm 25 years younger in a corporate environment that has thoroughly taken control of this kind of thing.)


> (Or maybe I'm 25 years younger in a corporate environment that has thoroughly taken control of this kind of thing.)

You're 25 years younger in a corporate environment that has thoroughly taken control of this kind of thing.

> BillG said, in effect, that the prank was not in good taste, and that it made Microsoft look stupid rather than clever - especially as a catch-up to Sun Microsystems.

He was pissed because, while a "joke", it was an valid and accurate criticism as well. Sun was miles ahead of Microsoft and many other companies, in several different ways. Microsoft dominated because Gates was a ruthless son of a bitch who repeatedly broke laws that were poorly enforced back then.

I had a whole tirade typed out, but I realized that HN is full of true believers in the "New Bill Gates". I'm not. He's trying to buy a legacy so he can overwrite the shit one he had when he was at the helm of Microsoft. Sadly, it'll work because people have short memories.


Could you spill the beans a little? I’m really curious about happened in the 90s with Microsoft that antagonized them so much (was born in 99, so I’ve only seen the Bill Gates who’s saving lives in Africa)


Microsoft as led by Bill Gates was an aggressive, anti-competitive entity.

They crushed competitors with the motto "Embrace, Extend, Extinguish", where they'd start to embrace an open standard, extend it with their own customizations, and use that to crush the competition.

They tried to do it with Java, but Sun prevailed in a lawsuit against them.

Before that they crushed word processor rival WordPerfect (though arguably, WP did not handle the migration to GUI properly), and spreadsheet rival Lotus 1-2-3 this way. They leveraged their control of the Platform (Windows) to control any software market they wanted, such as internet browsers, crushing Netscape, leading to an anti-trust lawsuit [1] that almost caused Microsoft to have to split up (arguably saved by Bush Jr. being elected to office).

There was also the SCO lawsuit against Linux, but that was after Bill Gates stepped down from CEO, so it's at Steve Ballmer's feet.

Needless to say, he (& Microsoft) accumulated so much ill will that it basically required a generation turnover (as you've demonstrated ;) ) to forget.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Microsoft_Cor....

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_documents


I think if you’re responsible for eradicating polio, you can be as shitty as you like.


I'm pretty sure even something like that doesn't give you carte blanche for, say, murdering people. So there's a line to be drawn, and reasonable people can disagree on where exactly to draw it.


[flagged]


I’m earnestly curious if you believe this statement, or it is just in jest.


I believed it before I got the vaccine, but now my head hurts if I try to think about it too hard


People aren't allowed to change? Improve?

What shitty things did you do 25 years ago you're willing to let me judge current you on?


People can and do change and improve, but the point is that it's quite a luxury when you make billions breaking laws and then use those billions to create a perception that you are now somehow this wholesome person.


But that's not the point. The point cbozeman made was Gates was not good 25 years ago and cbozeman does not believe that Gates has changed, but instead "he's trying to buy a legacy so he can overwrite the shit one he had when he was at the helm of Microsoft." cbozeman's point is not "it's quite a luxury when you make billions breaking laws and then use those billions to create a perception that you are now somehow this wholesome person". scrollaway's point is that people can change.

My point is, it's quite easy to make claims without proof. I know next to nothing about "new" Gates or "ruthless son of a bitch" Gates. Your claim that Gates has not changed needs some sort of evidence to be taken seriously.


I think people sometimes don’t perceive things the same way and that can lead to misunderstandings. I have sympathy, I’ve been in the position of having some edgy marketing/pr go the wrong way for a software launch.

Totally random example that I had _no involvement_ in: launching a tree survey app on the 20th of April that had insufficient moderation tools. I’ll let your imagination around this (totally hypothetical) scenario run wild.

Personally, I think the prank would have been fine if they filled the boxes with actual coffee beans.


"Personally, I think the prank would have been fine if they filled the boxes with actual coffee beans." Thats exactly what I was expecting from the title and the mentions of it being "costly". I would have found it quite funny to be picking up a box of coffee from Microsoft and it would work on a number of levels. If it was just an empty box with absolutely no product, coffee or software or otherwise, then thats just kinda lame... I agree with Bill on this one.


From a comment from pricci currently near the top of the page, who got a box:

> One morning we were going to brew it but it was whole grain and we didn't have a grinder.


Things were a lot different corporate-wise back in the late 1990s/early 2000s.

Like when Microsoft employees put a big "E" on Netscape's lawn, which Netscape employees promptly tipped over and put Mozilla on top of it.

https://medium.com/@ddprrt/tales-from-the-browser-wars-mozil...


Microsoft was sued by Sun in 1997. The pranksters may not have realized they are publicly taunting their future opponent, but Gates probably saw it that way.


Well... msft was already pretty big, but they hadn't been for very long. It might have been ok 3-4 years prior. Maybe like Tesla now, at least for elon. I doubt "PR flacks" had much sway at the company, if you go back to its formative years. Also, this seems to have been related to some sore points at that particular time.

Also, the world was more naive before "re:all" emails from hr.


It used to be that we were not all indistinguishable cogs in machines designed to be as inoffensive as possible.




My first ever CS class was in J++.


Glad I'm not the only one expecting an article about this


what? (.cd)


Oh how I miss that site every day. I remember that request well


It was only a mirage.


It’s sad that a company can’t accept negative PR and show them that they do indeed support their employee’s actions. I think it has more to do with how all organizations want to feel professional instead of nerdy and fun.


I think the issue is that the joke made Microsoft look bad (like they copied another company's product). Google has a big April Fool's collection, but you can imagine their PR department probably would not let anyone's joke reference that the product would be sunset in 18 months.


Agreed, but I think your Google idea would be pretty funny.

Google sunset - from now on each product will have a countdown clock on its webpage to its death which is either when the clock hits zero or the lead dev makes promo, whatever comes first.

Another easy target would be the release of the 16th chat application that’s even shittier somehow.


> Another easy target would be the release of the 16th chat application that’s even shittier somehow.

Now presenting: Google Hangups(tm)


Here's the problem as I see it...

Tolerating or even enjoying "make fun of yourself" humour feels important to me. How much sting you can take says something, and you need to build up a tolerance. If "jokes about the boss" are always of the bootlicking variety, those are the only acceptable jokes and decent people will just avoid humour.

It's a scale though. An ill advised joke can have scary consequences in China.. Poo. At the same time, crass WW2 jokes don't always go down well in Germany... and liberalism or democracy don't change this.

Anyway... MSFT, Amazon & such are heading towards East India Company market caps. At this scale (and at small scale too), I think a thick skin is essential to an open culture.

The concept of "corporate culture" is both bullshit and profound at the same time. OOH, it' the drab topic of dilbert land. OTOH, corporate culture is >51% of total culture. It matters whether or not corporate culture is open.


The joke made Microsoft look bad because Microsoft was bad then, and in the years before, and in the years behind.

Microsoft basically from Gates' reign was a lot of, "Copy the shit that we see others do."

Ballmer at least had the audacity to attempt something original like the Xbox. Steve gets a horrendously bad rap, but if you look at Microsoft's products from the start of his time as president (1998) to CEO (2000) and until he was replaced by Satya Nadella, Ballmer was trying to provoke his people into something new.

Nowadays, Microsoft is actually an innovator making some really impressive products (the entire Surface line, Azure, etc.).

Gates is boring, bland, and a "genius" at realizing the future potential of technologies (Xerox's GUI, The Internet, mobile phones, tablets, etc.), but he absolutely sucks at producing something that will appeal to a consumer. I've said before that if you could combine Gates' understanding of future tech with Steve Jobs' ability to understand design and consumer desire, you'd have an unstoppable entrepreneur. The only other person out there who I think even comes close is Elon Musk.


I'm not sure what employee actions they're supposed to support.

MS didn't get a chance to 'support' this, these guys did the thing on their own.

If I'm MS I'm not sure I want to do a lot to "support" them after the fact as I really don't need groups of other employees stocking the shelves with fake products...

Any prank that looks like it has someone else's name on it, or approval... but isn't approved is just always going to have a risk associated with it.


When you're employed by a corporation, to what degree are you an individual and to what degree are you an extension of that corporation?

Microsoft isn't a person or individual. For MS to support something...really means some hundreds of individuals inside MS support a thing and have coordinated to communicate that support to the other hundreds and BOOM, MS now supports a thing (or doesn't).

All of this is about permissions, ownership, and labeling. I'm inclined to think the corporate world has it all wrong.

MS supported this by virtue of MS employees doing it. MS was also schizophrenic about it and smited its left-hand for not properly filing a request in triplicate with the brain.


>MS supported this by virtue of MS employees doing it.

Would that apply to say crimes?

Should corporate then get to tell people what else they can't do since being an employee includes '<company name> support'?

I think you're inadvertently wandering into some really wonky territory.


> I think you're inadvertently wandering into some really wonky territory.

Undoubtedly :P

As for crimes, I think the US legal system supports my view more than the one that clearly separates these employees from the MS entity. MS may fire the employees as a result of their actions, but up to a point, MS is fully liable for their actions as representatives of the company long before the employees are liable as individuals.


But just because you're an employee doesn't mean you have unlimited authority. Getting the janitor to sign a billion dollar contract doesn't mean that Microsoft has agreed to it. The new-hire intern can't go on the news and make binding promises about corporate strategy.

It sounds like these employees used the printing presses in unauthorized ways, put unauthorized products on the shelves, and probably even used trademarks and whatnot without authorization. The properly-authorized managers of the company would be within their rights to disavow them, or maaaaaybe even prosecute for misusing resources.

I realize I've massively over-analyzed this, and MS would've been huge assholes to prosecute over this. But I think they legally would've been able to.


>used the printing presses in unauthorized ways

Who gets to authorize what? <- That's largely my point in all this. We can joke about Bill Gates' specific view on the incident. And we know its relevant because (at least at the time) he was a majority shareholder. So we know his opinion would've been closely correlated with the entity Microsoft's opinion. But MS isn't Bill Gates and his opinion would have just been one among many.

Presumably there's a document somewhere that can trace itself back to the first charter establishing 100% ownership of a corporate entity as held by one or a few who then (following the rules set in that charter and subsequent ones) built an organization known as Microsoft with many rules and stipulations to distribute and represent that ownership (all the while giving away pieces of it left and right).

The question of who is and isn't Microsoft strikes me as a Ship of Theseus problem. As for the answer to that problem: we have society's answer in its legal precedents even if they're ever moving and then we have another nuanced interpretation for every human on the planet who bothers to think about it.


"we didn't do this, but we suspect it was an employee. Either way, it's pretty funny."


Agreed it is a funny line and prank.


Ummm, this was done on April 1st. I would have killed for a box. In fact, I'd kill for one now, but I didn't see any on Ebay.


It's hard for any company to support the actions of their employees once they go lone wolf and depart from the approvals and procedures the company has put in place. Even Bill wasn't happy with this and more importantly when it comes to April Fool's jokes, he wasn't laughing.


Just shows that he has no sense of humour. Humour isn't usually funny if it isn't pointing at legitimate criticism - in this case, it was making fun of Microsoft. Inability to laugh at yourself just makes you stuck up.


> The PR flacks, on their own, tried to clean up and bury the whole thing, out of fear that BillG might get really angry about it. (He never did. Nor did Legal. In the end, it was all a huge overreaction by PR.)

Not sure where you got "Even Bill wasn't happy with this"


I got it from...

> BillG said, in effect, that the prank was not in good taste, and that it made Microsoft look stupid rather than clever - especially as a catch-up to Sun Microsystems. We learned he was repeatedly calling the prank “in poor judgement” in meeting and internal memos.


April fools pranks should leave the recipient laughing at themselves for their own foolishness, otherwise it is just a mean spirited prank at the expense of someone else. Pranking a major organisation is just too hard: there are too many different people with different personalities involved.


I think its more about how a company defines itself. I could totally see Musk encouraging an employee to troll the NYT or some other outlet on April 1st.


I'd think the company would be concerned of these pranks defaming the company if enough employees did them.


Reminded me of this well executed prank at McDonalds:

https://mashable.com/article/mcdonalds-fake-poster-prank/


These two have a great YouTube/TikTok channel where they continue to produce these kinds of posters.


For all the "You couldn't do this in 2021 without...." commenters, have a gander at what Deliveroo did in France for April 1. 'Prank' confirmation orders for 450 EUR worth of delivery sent to thousands of customers.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-56617049


How absolutely touched do you have to be to think this is a good prank for a company whose business model is processing orders for people who are tight on cash in the middle of a pandemic?

Good christ.


Just cashed in/out on an IPO touched. From the article: But few customers were amused. One of them said he had "almost had a stroke" Even if you are savvy enough to know that you won't have to pay, the stress of having to deal with a faceless corporate to correct your account is very real. How many cumulative years have they wiped off their customers' lives with this rubbish prank. There should be a huge fine, multiples of 450*number of customers exposed.


"Confuse, don't abuse" is the mantra of a good prank. If the victim isn't laughing later, then it wasn't in good taste.


Historical evidence that we’ve done all the good April Fools’ pranks, and we can just stop doing them now.

Please.

Please, I beg of you, PR teams, let us be free of corporate April Fools’ pranks. Make the world a better place.


I think what makes this a satisfactory prank is that PR didn't vet it. When the company officially signs off on a joke, you know it's been watered down.


I think companies can do fun stuff. But probably only if PR is not involved. I've seen lots of clever ideas (not just pranks) from the bottom by the people knowing the product being axed by risk-averse higher ups.


I feel for the poor staff in those retail stores trying to work out what this product was that wasn't scanning while you've got a customer at your register getting more annoyed by the second.


Yeah; not sure how to work around that. They could have put a common, inexpensive SKU on it. Perhaps for a pencil or something known to be at stock at the retailers, and also likely to have loose inventory controls. (So, they end up with 10 extra pencils when they do inventory at the end of the month; not exactly a disaster for anyone involved.)


Yes, maybe the sku of a coffee cup, with a coffe cup inside, just to be able to be legally off the hook in an awesome way.


People who do pranks like this don’t care how it negatively impacts on other people.

Also think about all the additional work the PR people were forced to do to clean up.


Ah yes. Jokes. Such a great evil. You'd think the whole world is owned by the 1990s Microsoft, or Oracle: boring, lifeless and monotonous. Probably beige, too.

I can assure you, this wasn't within the top-ten of most annoying things that a retail worker would have to deal with in a day; it's minor and harmless, and the people who really cause trouble for retail workers wouldn't be in a position to buy every Microsoft product on a whim, either.


Why add to anyone’s workload at all to suit your own amusement?


It doesn't actually add to a retail worker's workload; retail workers (in the United States, anyway) are paid by the hour, and at any given moment will be forced to do something. Filling it with a laugh is a step up.

Your problem is/should be with capitalism, not with a joke.


Whether or not one is being paid, it sucks to have no idea how to fix the problem for an annoyed customer. It’s just not a pleasant experience.


An employee can have an hour dealing with normal customers, or dealing with customers aggravated because the box they found on the shelf won't scan.

Which would you prefer?

By the way the worse option is only there for the amusement of some rich engineer you've never met and earns 10x what you do plus can afford to spend his work time making your work time more hard.

Doesn't sound as great now, does it?


I've done both! I don't know if you've been to America, but this is every hour of every day for employees in American retail. Something funny is a stark improvement over "normal" customers, because the rich customers don't get aggravated as much. Your average poor customer wouldn't spring for a random product by Microsoft immediately after seeing it on the shelves, and your average well-off customer would figure out what was going on.

The difference in stress between the two makes one extremely easy to deal with (since not having some stupid flavor-of-the-month cereal seems much less like a big deal for someone whose active attention isn't being consumed solely with figuring out how they're going to pay for everything). Unfortunately, wealth makes a big difference: richer customers are just able to not sweat the small stuff.


This might have came off somewhat hostile to poor customers, but: I've been there, and managing how you're going to eat & pay rent at the same time on the average salary is really stressful, so I've always been empathetic.


Yes, those poor, poor Waggener Edstrom PR people. It's about time someone like you took a stand for them - they surely can't fend for themselves.


Creating a mess and leaving it to other people to clean it up. It's littering. Even if someone is paid to clean up your litter, you shouldn't litter in the first place.


I think the disagreement here is that this is litter in the first place.

My take is that PR overreacted. They thought it was a mess, and they thought they needed to do Serious Damage Control or whatever. But they were wrong.

This was a well done hoax. A more competent PR team would have leaned into it and showcased how Microsoft isn't just a cold corporate monolith. That it has a humorous side, or is more "human", or whatever.

I hope shenanigans never dies.


Not to be confused with their forensic analysis tool, Microsoft COFEE.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_Online_Forensic_Evi...


This is what came to mind, I thought this post was just a misspelling originally


This is definitely real, I can verify. I am from Seattle, and my mom was working at Microsoft when this happened, and she did not remember anything about it, but then they asked her friends and one of them still has a Microsoft Coffee box! At this point, he should probably sell it as a collectors item!


Verification from a throw-away account.


Obviously a joke. Microsoft would just buy Starbucks and rebrand it as Microsoft CoffeeX 3D.


The newest version is Microsoft CoffeeX 3D Series 1X .NET.


Insider preview edition


BCOD: Blue Coffee Of Death.

I can only imagine the repercussions of this.


And you could only get decaf and caffeine pills...


The talking head in the video was right - it’s probably a collector’s item.


Now it just needs an NFT!


Not without some tweaking. A physical product you can see and touch will be too abstract for the majority of the NFT adopters.


April Fools Day used to be edgy and daring, as per the article. Secrecy and vast clandestine effort was needed.

But now it is too easy and there isn't the same cost. Personally I have decided not to bother with social media on April Fools Day because you know time is going to be wasted by sub par corporate efforts.


On Friday, 1-April-2005, I executed an Aprils fool joke inside of WalMart Stores, Inc., Information Systems Division that ended up going somewhat wrong.

The director of our area, Network Engineering, was widely liked, and I'd worked for him, first directly when he was a manager, since 1997. Pretty chill guy, great sense of humor, effective leader. I particularly liked him because he gave my team, Network Management, all kinds of 'air cover' from the rest of the division, which allowed us to do our work in very non-standard but extremely efficient ways.

He happened to be on a business trip to WalMart.com headquarters in California.

So I used telnet to connect to the SMTP port of our main Microsoft exchange servers and issued the necessary commands: HELO, RCPT TO, MAIL FROM, DATA, etc, and forged an e-mail that looked like it came from him and was sent to the whole of Network Engineering, probably close to 100 people at that time.

The e-mail basically said that effective immediately, he was retiring. That it had been great working with everyone, etc etc. I took care to write the e-mail using the same phrases, words, formats that he normally used.

And it worked! Everyone believed he had sent the e-mail. My own manager, who reported to the him, was heard joking around with some other managers, saying that the director was clearly playing an Aprils fools joke on his department, and that they were going to get him back by taking the e-mail to HIS manager, a Vice President, asking for clarification.

My director was in transit or something and didn't see the e-mail he supposedly sent.

Some members of his very first team, the telcom support desk, knew him from way back and were horrified. They had his person cell phone number, and called him directly to ask him why he was doing this!

He was quite confused, and called his managers to ask what the hell was going on.

Once my manager found out that the director has NOT sent the e-mail, his amusement turned into anger. The director wasn't amused, because of the disturbance it caused, but he wasn't super upset.

So around noon, there was an emergency department wide all hands called, and my manager, very angry (but he controlled his emotions well) told everyone what happened, and said that the security team was involved, and that whoever did it should come forward.

So after the meeting, I went to his office and said I did it, that I didn't think it would cause any harm, etc.

So next week, I pressed him: what are the consequences going to be? He was vague, and still quite angry about it. Not abusive, or even passive aggressive, but I could tell.

When the director came back, I apologized to him, and he was fairly neutral, which I took as a pretty bad sign.

So this waiting game ended up going on for months. On intervals, I kept asking my manager what was going to happen, because at that same time, I'd just bought a nice property and house and moved in. Losing my job right then would have been a very bad deal.

In the end, nothing happened at all. Over a year later, I found out through some people I knew that my manager had spent months trying to get permission from HR to fire me. They refused...over and over again. And in the end, I didn't even get an unofficial reprimand.

But it was pretty damn stressful!


Nice but wow... I've done the telnet to a mail server on TCP port 25 trick over a hundred times. Only once did I take it almost as far as you. When our company was bought I sent an email from HR to my buddy saying that certain employees would be given the option of taking severance. My buddy asked all of his coworkers if they got that email, they said they hadn't. He then replied to the HR guy who told him he was the victim of a practical joke.


Hah, that's a good one, well done. (:


It's pretty inspiring to know that, even though I'm not that smart, I must be Microsoft material.


Disappointing that your manager, who you liked and described as fun and effective, wanted to fire you for it.


I read it as the director is the fun one. He didn't specify about the manager, but it speaks well of the director that the manager couldn't get him fired, assuming the director had some sway over HR.


Right. I don't know how that played out exactly.

For the most part, that particular manager was fairly ok. I actually worked with him as a technical peer before he went into management, and he was super smart and effective. His personality was generally positive, and he was always pleasant to talk to.

But...he had a strong disciplinary streak to him. On the team he managed before my own, he got several people fired for making substantial, impacting but otherwise understandable technical errors. Those guys did goof up, and cause real problems, but the errors they made were within very technical, confusing and difficult processes. Specifically, related to the store relocation/renumbering flow, one where my team spent a quite a bit of time trying to smooth out and automate during and after.



> Today, I'm coming clean.

No, he's not. There is no author name in the story.


This sounds like a such an awesome experience for the people who pulled it off.


Volkswagen would have benefited from reading this article> Bill Gate's comment that the prank makes Microsoft look stupid applies pretty well to the Voltswagen stunt.


I'm seriously confused by the backlash to the Voltswagen stunt. The first thing I thought when I read the headline was that this was obviously an early April fool's day joke.

Perhaps people are just upset that they didn't get it and are blaming Volkswagen to avoid admitting that they were a bit too gullible around April 1st.


It's because it was not released on April fools.


I saw it as trying to get ahead of the news cycle - like how Burger King announced their prank that everything would be served on sourdough bread on March 31 instead of day-of.


VW's main mistake is that their joke was something some people actually really liked. It burns a ton of goodwill. Many of their supporters may have even defended the idea. Now VW effectively told their supporters that VW thinks they are idiots.


Their mistake was probably to hit “Send” by mistake 1 day too early in their PR machine.


I doubt it was a mistake. 1. some timezones were probably already on April 1, 2. better get it out first so it doesn't get lost in the other hundreds of lame corporate April 1 pranks.

I don't see how people could believe it's real though. VW is such a big company. how can people think they would rename to such a silly name.


Checked when it came out and it was definitely still the 31st across the world; it was the 30th in my timezone!


It was 30 in US, 31st in the rest.


> VW thinks they are idiots

They hardly have a monopoly on that opinion. Just lemon juice on the wound though, I suppose. Getting mad and indignant about it qualifies as "continuing to dig", violating the first rule of what one should do upon finding themselves in an undesirable hole.


But now we’re taking about Volkswagen and electric vehicles. April Fool’s ad campaigns don’t have to be funny to be effective.


Your comment made me realize that English speakers often render Volks in Volkswagen as Volts


Never heard that rendering in my life, fwiw.


Thanks for your data point. Over here I just took a random sample around the room and came across many instances.


Wait, MS wasn't working on Java at that time? When did they try to release MS Java and were forced to rename it into J++?

I remember getting a box of MS dev tools with J++ included just a few years after this. It was already a well settled product.


In the early days, Microsoft was licensed to develop a JVM for Windows. It shipped as part of Internet Explorer, it probably ended up on the majority of Windows machines at the time.

Over time, I believe Microsoft started to implement Windows-specific functions that _only_ worked on their implementation. Eventually Sun sued and I think that's when they lost and had to re-name the product.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Java_Virtual_Machine


From the wiki, the lawsuit happened on the following year. I really doubt MS has gone from not working with Java, to distributing it, to making it non-compliant, to getting sued and losing in about an year.

The author was probably misinformed, and that's a very likely reason for the overreaction of the PR dept.


I don't see any Microsoft Coffee boxes for sale on eBay.


It belongs in a museum!


I'd buy the NFT.


ditto!


I was secretly hoping this would be Microsoft's foray into building a premium coffee machine for engineers. Give it the old Microsoft spin with an idiot-proof brewing process (pods maybe?) and ultra-fast brew times. Add support for the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP) and what not. I'd buy it. Just don't make me wait for updates before brewing and we're good ;)


But what if someone was killed by a BSOD (brown stain of death)?



No one is talking about how 25 years later, Microsoft is still weird about pranks! See link --> https://mashable.com/article/microsoft-april-fools-2019/?eur... This must have been traumatic for them.


Could that Sony screen really have existed in 1996? It's definitely not a CRT. It's also fishy that there is no mention of the author anywhere, domain registration intentionally unrevealing. The domain was created at 2:00am on the 1st of April.


The screen is modern, displaying playback of an old taped video.

Little suspicious of the 16:9 aspect ratio. News broadcasts weren't wide screen until much later. Probably it is being displayed cropped?


Well, Microsoft released an actual knock-off of Java in Sept 1996, J++. Either this website pranks that, or this recollection shows exactly why Microsoft wanted to quiet stories of this - 4 months prior to the release of their new product!


> Things were different back in 1996. … Microsoft had a reputation, deserved or not, as more of an imitator than an innovator.

Perhaps not too different, apparently.


These days, Microsoft seems more like IBM: They have a good business supporting stuff they've already done, and have, if anything, a negative incentive to rock the boat by doing anything new. It's the white dwarf phase of a company: Their innovative "hydrogen fusion" gone, they coast for some indeterminate amount of time on their own internal heat.


Does it? I hardly see any news about Microsoft in 'tech' press anymore.


Earlier this week, Microsoft announced a big military contract for Hololens. Before that, they announced a Discord acquisition, before that finalized Bethesda acquisition, etc. You're right that it might be my bias (I work in games, game engine and XR, not web), but all of those were reported by tech media like The Verge and mainstream publications tech reporting, not gaming or niche VR sites.


Yup, I especially like the HoloLens and the Pentagon contracts. Those are things that Google would have easily taken with Google Lens (which they are already selling to the industrial applications) and GCP, but can't due to the internal political pressure groups from employees preventing them from doing government contracts.


Some days - not saying it's true, but if it was - the idea of the rabid social dissent and conflict we see in the US being the product of Chinese/Russian cultural campaigns seems like pure genius. Disallowing the US military to leverage Google IP in the field? Check. Many other convenient benefits to those countries by egging on disunity.


You don't hear as much about them, but Microsoft has very similar pressure groups that have been involved in complaints about Azure and GitHub usage by the military and ICE. A lot of very similar stories are in HN if you search.

It may not be that Google's pressure groups are more successful, but that the government actually has more interests in Microsoft's products and support agreements.

(HoloLens is on v2 and is expected to have long term support. Google Glass has been cancelled twice, and you claim it is rebranded now, but my search just now turns up Google Lens as just a phone app with no hardware initiative. Even if there is a hardware initiative with that brand name, that's still two cancellations and a confusing brand name change too many for most government contracts to trust. There are similar complaints about GCP versus Azure out there, though I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.)


These days if a company isn't growing faster than the population its garbage. It isn't enough to have a consistent value proposition that some X% of the population will spend on. This isn't a sustainable viewpoint so we pop the bubble periodically and start again. MS' os is better than it ever was, but its competitors more than caught up. They still define the data formats of business to some extent with office. And their IDE group is the best for the languages they support. Perhaps with the exception of clion. But that is kind of a stable boring story.


Their stock has doubled in the last two years.

Also, VS Code went from zero to > 50% market share, and Azure, Teams, etc are growing fast. GitHub is adding MS ecosystem integrations at a rapid pace.

I don’t think that adds up to a very bearish story.


You're right it doesn't. My point was only that our industry is overly hype driven and "gets the job done reliably" doesnt land you headlines or search order and that hurts investment too.


> its competitors more than caught up

Not in the PC market that's for sure. I tried Mac and Linux few times for work and I always found Windows to be far better, at least as a desktop/laptop OS.


It depends so much on which native tools you use. Which is good and bad. Good that all three OS are good enough not to be the deciding issue, and bad that we haven't really solved portable native software well.


I find the PC hardware to be better too. Even dirt cheap PC laptops have touch screens with high quality pens included and are very easy to upgrade their RAM to 32/64 GB from Amazon.


Really? All the Windows laptops with good quality screens are priced similarly to their base model Mac equivalents. There are certainly no shortage of sub-$500 laptops, but they're priced that way for a reason. Poor battery life, low-resolution screen, HDD instead of SSD, etc.


> sub-$500 laptops..Poor battery life, low-resolution screen, HDD instead of SSD, etc.

Things have changed since 2005.

This is a Walmart one for 360$, and Costco has similar ones. You can get even better specs and price if you're willing to roll the dice with Alibaba/Aliexpress vendors.

14" FHD (1080p), AMD Ryzen 3 with Radeon Vega 3 Graphics, THX Spatial Audio, 4GB RAM, 128GB SSD, HDMI, Front 720P HD IR Camera.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0hMdQAjy43A


I’ve yet to try any PC laptop that matches the Mac battery life and trackpad, or has a good fit-and-finish without copying the MacBook look anyway.


Samsung Notebook 9 or Razer Blade?


I'll give you that for sure. Any specific model you recommend?


I have the Samsung Notebook 9 Pro, wonderful machine, and the included pen experience was great, specially with the flipped tablet mode. It's a bit outdated now but there should be a new model.


I jumped the Windows ship 10 years ago and every time I check back in on it I’m still glad I left.


Boeing coffee had a mil spec for it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Military_Standar...

I learned to love bad coffee from drinking it. Starbucks ruined everything. I wish McDonald's would bring back their battery acid coffee.


Can you imaging being Oracle at the time and freaking out thinking Microsoft was coming to eat your lunch.


"But Microsoft had a reputation, deserved or not, as more of an imitator than an innovator."

It seems they managed quite a decent April Fool's joke until boring old PR, sorry the entire Legal Sharks with frikkin' Lasers division dived in.

It should be possible to have a laugh locally.


This is why computers used to have that cup holder that would slide out and give you a place to put it.

When you weren't using it you could even put a music CD in it and it would play music right through your computer speakers!


I actually had a cup holder for a drive bay that was intended as one, it even had a cigarette lighter!

https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-39083765508394/thermaltake-x-ra...


https://youtu.be/_ErL39wqO-c

An in-depth review of this unit


Do they still sell these?


One of the very few things that make me lament not being a smoker.


Every smoking accessory is awesome, the smoking in itself, not so much.


You can use the lighter socket to plug in a car-USB charger, inverter, or other wacky gadgets


I was so hoping that the cup holder would be heated, but alas not. Such a missed opportunity!


I can recall being called into the CEO's office one day, close the door he says. I'm thinking uh-oh nothing good can come after that statement. He proceeds to tell me that he put a CD into the floppy drive and could I please remove it. I was sworn to confidentiality, never happened.


I want to check the validity of your story, but unfortunately I can't find a CD, or a floppy drive.


I guess it could fit in 5.25"?


Or one of those little CDs, business card size for example.


Yeah, exactly. Showing my age here.


Or a little later, if you were anything like me, run a little homegrown music piracy operation for your entire high school!


Someone very much like you caused one of my first run-ins with the law! One day when I was in high school, the police asked me to come down to the police station for a chat. The police chief asked me if I was the one who "copyrighted them there CDs".

(For the record, I wasn't. I wasn't going to be doing much for-profit piracy on a dial-up connection.)


According to my brother, Dreamcast game piracy was where the money was...


Dreamcast was easy to pirate. But I think there were only a couple kids in my entire High School that even had one.

Later when they were cheap to buy used I think the piracy scene really picked up.


We still use the foot pedals to this day..


And if you used it, it would pour coffee right through your computer speakers! Magik!



If this happened in 2021 someone would be in prison or fired at best.

That said, this is a hilarious story and reminds me of the things people used to do in the early days of the internet in terms of trolling and such. Unfortunately, after groups like the GN*A and others successfully trolled the world several times, nation states figured it out and started trolling to actually control the narrative of the internet!

And here we are today.


> If this happened in 2021 someone would be in prison or fired at best.

If that's the best case scenario, what's the worst? Firing squad?


This is a good example of how human language is ambiguous. You should read it as in the worst case in prison and in the best case fired.


Hah! That interpretation didn’t even occur to me, but yes that makes more sense.


No, we have tone and punctuation to disambiguate the two interpretations here. Parent commenter interpreted correctly. If the grandparent’s intention was otherwise, they should have used a comma.


It's a good example of how ambiguity can arise when humans use (or don't use) punctuation and other features of a language that's been evolving for centuries, to communicate across an instantaneous worldwide medium with little effort


Well said.


They didn't interpret it correctly, and there's no rule stating a comma is necessary that's universal in every style-guide.


They interpreted incorrectly per English grammar. We don’t know whether they interpreted correctly or incorrectly per the utterer’s intention, as the utterer has not clarified their intention.

This isn’t a question of style, but one of grammar.


It's not that simple. Commas are lawless.


Precisely.


Expelled.


terminated!


Prison? That seems over the top.


Prison is where most Microsoft software was packaged back then: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2008/07/what-do-prisone...


“Most Microsoft software” is not what that article says. It just says one of Microsoft’s contractors used them.


Nice, I had forgotten that!


This would be a massive SEC violation at minimum.

A prison sentence would not be surprising at all.

The only reason they likely didn’t get it in 1995 even is that MS PR (the one this person derides as PR flacks) apparently successfully convinced the world that this wasn’t done by MS insiders.


How can a regular non-executive employee be guilty of a SEC violation, for something like this?

If I'm a Tesla employee and I make a fake image about a future Tesla airplane, is that a SEC violation?


From the article.

“ We were busy arranging a graphic design of the box, putting easter egg jokes in the tech specs on the side, leveraging corporate partnerships, and prepping to make a run of several hundred boxes through one of Microsoft’s production printing systems. This was not only kind of expensive, but a commitment, a step that would in effect put an official stamp from Microsoft on the plan.”

I suspect that this is the reason the “PR flacks” didn’t just dismiss this as a joke gone wrong, but went beyond to insist (lie) that it was done by outsiders.


You are attempting to manipulate the stock price, likely for personal gain.


It is difficult to prove intent, especially if the press release is absurd, released on April 1st, and you’re attempting to prove it wasn’t intended as a prank.

Having said that, I’m holding a bag of SO stock because I thought they really were going to start monetizing by charging for copy-paste. /s


Why do you think the SEC has to prove intent, or even that it being a prank, even if you prove that, protects you?


> When it comes to being charged with fraud, demonstrating that the defendant lacked the intent to commit a crime (i.e. that he or she acted in good faith) is a key defense because, in order to convict the defendant, the prosecutor needs to prove that he or she had fraudulent intent.

https://www.baezlawfirm.com/two-recent-cases-highlight-impor...

> U.S. Supreme Court Rules That Securities Fraud Suits Must Be Dismissed Unless Plaintiffs Plead Fact Establishing a "Cogent and Compelling Inference" of Fraudulent Intent

https://www.jonesday.com/en/insights/2007/07/us-supreme-cour...


The SEC does more than just fraud, which is what those links speak to.

https://www.sec.gov/news/speech/2014-spch033114mjw

"We, for example, often bring cases based on negligence, while most criminal statutes require intent or at least willful blindness. Some of our statutes are also strict liability, which do not require intent, recklessness, or negligence."


And if you look at those strict liability violations, it's stuff like filing required forms and reports by financial officers, not what we were talking about.


Non executives can very much be guilty of SEC violations.

If you make a fake image of a Tesla airplane, create branding for that fake Tesla image, and post it all over the official Tesla PR accounts, without immediately or at least in the fine print, explaining this is an Apr 1 joke, Tesla, and likely you, would be legally liable.


All those downvoting this really need to read their company’s employment manual.

An employee’s actions represents their employer’s actions. Not being an executive does not make your company any less liable and/or make you as an employee less liable for your actions as an employee (there is no question whether the actions discussed in this situation were considered to be in a personal capacity, since the author clearly states they leveraged Microsoft partnerships as well as Microsoft resources to pull this off).


No, it wouldn't be a "massive SEC violation" and yes, a prison sentence would be _very_ surprising. The SEC can't send someone to prison. They're a civil enforcement agency.


Well, no agency in the US can “send” someone to prison, outside the judicial system.

But the SEC can certainly start investigations and then take someone to court in conjunction with DAs the country over, and a possible result can be imprisonment.


If it was objectively clear that it was just a joke, it would probably qualify as protected speech under the First Amendment and thus be immune to SEC penalties.


They might have gotten fired in 96 too. They certainly seemed afraid of that based on things in the story not to mention waiting 25 years to tell it.


what a strange way to obfuscate that GNAA acronym!


Associ*tion


You would also have been in prison in 1996 had you tried it at a larger and more "strict" company than Microsoft.


True that. The reason for this is simple. Stock price. Investors would wine around, price could move.

It is all about money today: serious business.


I think it's deeper - and more insidious - than that. People with no sense of humor, or even awareness of their lack of sense of humor, have clawed their way into positions of real power. They used to just run the parent-teacher council and try to get TV shows cancelled, but now they've moved on to control nearly every aspect of our lives. And their power is growing.


Do you think this is any different than any time throughout history? There have always been and always will be people without senses of humor in all walks of life.


I don't know about the rest of history, but this is the first point in my lifetime where they've been in control of so many aspects of day-to-day life.


This is pure nonsense. Look at any portrayal of large operations (satirical or biographical) in recorded history. The leadership of GM, Ford, IBM, the military, and any huge organization have always been portrayed as humorless.


> I don't know about the rest of history

Well, there you go.


Having a sense of humour is dangerous when you need the approval of others because most sense of humour differ from the ones others have.


Maybe these people do have a sense of humour but your jokes just aren’t as funny as you think they are?


Fine, then don't laugh. Even mock me. Tell me not to quit my day job. I don't think somebody should lose their job/be banished from society because of a bad joke.


How about don't bother people with your lame humour in the first place if they don't explicitly ask for it?

Leave other people alone unless they opt-in. It's a basic part of a kind society.


Yeah, someone with a sense of humor sees a bad/lame joke as something to riff on.

That's how dad jokes became a thing.


Turns out Germany played the long con and has successfully taken over the world.


Implementing CoCs...


So after that prank they felt obliged to create c#.


Microsoft Coffee was supposed to be the answer to Sun's Java. Dotnet is the Java killer and it is no joke.


"But Microsoft had a reputation, deserved or not, as more of an imitator than an innovator."

It was deserved.


I can't help but miss that delicious unassuming 90s design language.


I can’t really understand, what exactly is so funny about this “prank”?


The fact that you fell for it. :)


That’s awesome, good work.


what would i not give to live in a world like this..

the suits come in and ruin everything eh?


invalid ssl cert?


Hola


So that was the internal name before C#


Haha, and so it shall be again.


[flagged]


... You mean like the video embedded at the top of the page?



Sorry!


I want a job where I can spend days of valuable time on unauthorised, unproductive projects just because I want some fun, and not get punished for it.


Microsoft at that time was very much a stereotypical work hard/play hard/sleep in your office/repeat type of place (in at least many departments).

Extra hours aren't that hard to find here or there if you're never leaving.


Still is, really.


Microsoft PR probably got upset because back then they used prison labor to wrap software boxes: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2008/07/what-do-prisone...


The amount of entitlement in the tech industry is astounding.

This person is complaining about how Microsoft didn't enjoy this prank, which involved hours of planning (during working hours I assumed), cost actual $$$ (through printing these boxes), pissed off the Company's suppliers (by delivering fake products), and in which the entire point was poke fun at the Company as being a mediocre copy-cat?

Jeez, people really need to develop a sense of humor!

/s




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