Exactly - I don’t go to my wife to gush over the latest database optimization details I discovered expecting to have a deep technical discussion. Maybe the executive summary. I talk to my coworkers or friends or online people who are excited about the same details. If someone can only feel close to you when they speak of crossword puzzles I wonder if they’re on the spectrum or need to join a crossword club or something.

We do have a baseline of shared philosophies and views but even there we often find that we slightly disagree on details.