That's what 8-bit text to speech was for, played from the PC Speaker for maximum effect. It sounded like Stephen Hawking choking on vodka, but that somehow fit the mood.
> It sounded like Stephen Hawking choking on vodka
I'm probably way, way overthinking this, but this seems philosophically quite deep and interesting, much like "what is the sound of one hand clapping" (ignoring Bart Simpson's masterful destruction of the ancient question).