- Any FPV controller that connects to laptop. 2 solid choices are TBS Tango 2 or DJI FPV Remote Controller [3]
I spent ~20 hours in the sim before advancing to real drones; a few of my friends followed this path and successfully passed an improvised exam on real drone after just ~10 hours in the sim.
As for the drone itself, the easiest setup is probably DJI Avata [4], but it's less of the proper "FPV feel". I personally fly Flywoo Explorer [5] with DJI system: it's a small & nibmle long range drone, easy to travel with, and powerful enough to chase kiteboarders even in a strong wind.
P.S. Don't be discouraged with sim flying: it's actually very fun, feels similar to TrackMania Nations.
That's the fun part: most of the stuff currently on the market is quite good. The quads, the gear — if a few people recommend it on Reddit, it's likely totally fine for a beginner and it will fly well.
A few pointers:
The guy we all watch on YouTube is called Joshua Bardwell.
Regarding radio, the protocol you're looking for is ELRS. Everything has converged on ELRS, it's open source and crazy good. ELRS at 250mW will survive more than your video feed, and many ELRS transmitters go to 1W.
Transmitter (the controller): There are options, but you can't go wrong with anything from RadioMaster. FPV quads don't need many inputs, so honestly a RadioMaster Pocket is completely fine. I have both the Pocket and the TX16S (their flagship transmitter, I also fly fixed wings), and it makes zero difference for quads. This is completely up to your budget, just get something with ELRS.
The video situation is a bit more interesting, but generally: analog is alive and kicking with brutal power and range, but shitty video. In digital, DJI is king, although a bit expensive. They sell entire drones, even some (very meh) FPV, but they also sell cameras, video transmitters and goggles for "proper" FPV builds, and these kick ass. If you don't like DJI, there are alternatives (WalkSnail, HDZero), but nothing as open and as compatible as analog.
First you spend some time on a sim. They're all good nowadays, I personally fly Uncrashed the most, but I also have Liftoff and Tryp FPV, it's all good fun. The flight models feel slightly different, but so do real-life quads, so unless you're trying to match your real-life quad down to the last atom, you won't notice any issues.
You either build a quad from scratch (not hard at all, but it takes time and there's some soldering) or you buy a finished one (we call these BNF — bind and fly), or you get something in between and add your own parts (e.g. a camera + VTX (video transmitter) to match your goggles).
You choose the size and type of the quad according to where and how you want to fly. A "tiny whoop" for your apartment, a "cinewhoop" for high-quality video indoors and outdoors, a 3inch freestyle quad for a big garden or a park, a 5inch (the golden standard) for racing and seriously whipping it around, a 7inch for huge environments and longer cruising, and anything bigger for serious long-range missions.
I wouldn't go larger than 5 inches for a first quad, you'll likely crash it a few [dozens of] times and larger quads are both more fragile and more expensive to fix if you do break something.
Crashing a quad is a completely normal thing and they're built to withstand it. Usually you'll just ding or bend a prop, you bend it back and replace it (<1€/$) when it's really bad.
What sort of set-up would be a good one for a beginner?