Cool advice. Now please tell me about an industry where "drinking with the guys" is not a central part of the networking/socializing needed to have a career.
Nice ad hominem, but it doesn't address my question. Also, what you are taking out of context here is the author describing her life falling apart after this incident, not her behaviour before the incident.
Yes, victims are often traumatized after an event like this, and it causes them to make poor decisions later. That doesn't invalidate the assault. Consent is consent.
I blame the boss for a whole bunch of things but where it gets to the point of getting drunk and then getting behind a wheel and killing me or my friends, that's where the victim turns into a criminal without forgiveness.
Your level of unconditional forgiveness becomes an excuse that I cannot accept.
The two incidents are separate. If she drove drunk, she should face the music. That doesn't excuse previous sexual assault. This thread isn't about Justine's DUI.
There's no mention of punishment, only arrest. I'm asking, insisting actually, she doesn't drive if she is going to do drugs. Getting sober is a better request but I cannot make her do that, she has to find a way herself.
The reason you're getting flak is that it sounds like you're saying "I mean, I'm not saying her fault, but basically, she should have expected it, so it's her fault."
This may just be because textual communication is hard. Letting you know in case that's not what you mean.
Her final plea for "no touching" is beyond reasonable, it shouldn't even have to be said or explained.
Just like it should not have to be explained, if people drink a lot, sooner or later those people are going to do insanely stupid, irreversible things, like drive drunk.
Often, people will think less of you. I have a 'straightedge' tattoo on my back, and even though I'd go to bars, never mention it, and just drink Coke, others felt that by not drinking I was judging them. I lost friends over it.
Like most things in life, the answer is much more complex than that. I decided that having experiences was a better life choice than teetoataling. I don't blame anyone for my decision to drink, it was a conscious choice on my part.
My straightedge tattoo is on the back of my left hand. Like many, I gave it up later in life. No shame in that, so long as you can avoid assaulting subordinates or killing people with your car.
In all seriousness, there were SO MANY bad decisions in the original story. They just happen to all belong to Joe. I have no doubt he'd have made different choices while sober. But it's not the fault of the "alcohol culture" or "tech", it's Joe's.
I drink one alcohol-containing drink then switch to soda. You can refuse to accept it but that's the way young big city upwardly-mobile American culture is, coast to coast.
Hang around people doing drugs (large amounts of alcohol) and bad things are guaranteed to happen sooner or later.