I agree that cafe babe is sexist (like 'booth babe'). The word babe itself is completely endearing though - my SO and I call one another that all the time.
Quite a few black people use the term „nigger” between themselves, and I know at least one couple that adopted „asshole” as an affectionate term. Not to mention completely ridiculous yet popular terms like „pumpkin”.
Just because some people adopted the word in some narrow context doesn’t change its meaning outside of it. There’s many behaviors that are common and acceptable towards your significant other and yet completely demeaning when applied to a barista (that doesn’t happen to be your significant other). So, whatever people call each other while watching Star Wars reruns is utterly irrelevant here.
The thing with calling someone "babe" is that it's too... forward? It's something that you call people you already know, so saying "babe" to a stranger is presumptuous. Anything in that category would have the same effect I think: honey, sweetheart.
It's also possible to use it in a belittling way, but I can't think of any synonym for "woman" which couldn't, if you use the right tone of voice. That's just general sexism, and the word "babe" wouldn't be worse than "lady" with the same delivery.
If you're talking about something that's not in those two categories, could you like me to it so I can see what you're talking about?
You could say "good morning" in a demeaning way, if you used a certain tone. It depends on specific culture, but usually there's certain very obvious (I have aspergers, so if I can see them, everyone can) protocols of interaction with people you don't know well. And in most situations you'd use the word "babe" at someone you don't know very well you probably shouldn't speak at all. The one exception that comes to my mind is "you're an actor and that's your line". So, yes, it's quite a bit worse than "miss". "Lady" only in third person, like "that lady just drove an 18 wheeler over my foot!"
But yes, honey and sweetheart would work just as badly. And yes, there's quite a few words that are worse. But "hey, they could do worse!" is no real argument. Sure they could.
> Babe is an endearing term. It's sexist only in the sense that it identifies the gender of the subject of endearment.
When actually used as a term of endearment, it doesn't; its pretty common in direct address as a term of endearment regardless of gender; in that use its not sexist at all.
When used as a noun in the third-person, rather than a name-substitute in direct address, though, its sexist, but its not a term of endearment, there, either.
CAFEBABE can be equally easily interpreted in either sense, so how it is perceived will largely reflect what the viewer is inclined toward seeing.
Babe isn't just an endearing term, though. If used by a loved one to another loved one, as you're suggesting, it certainly is. I would never argue that such usage is sexist.
I would, however, argue that a "cafe babe" isn't endearing, or referring to young humans.
As Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary defines it:
1. a baby or small child.
2. an inexperienced or naive person.
3. Slang.
a. Sometimes Disparaging and Offensive. a girl or woman.
b. (sometimes cap.) an affectionate or familiar term of address.
I'm looking at definition 3a. The context tells me it's probably not 1 or 2, and 3b doesn't make much sense as there is no prior established relationship or context for which a familiar or affectionate tone to take (it's just two words, after all).
Anyway you're right, it's probably an overreaction, I just don't think we should pretend like we suddenly don't know what the word "babe" means at the first sign of trouble.
